oh my, oh my.
sportin' the skeleton shirt today....yes, mam'. (is that how you spell mam'?)
it's officially halloween.
miss b and I put fake tattoos on this morning...but i think they're making us itch...:(
anyway.
watched Rosemary's Baby. creepy. gross. spare yourself.
confession:
i had candy for breakfast. i'm such a health advocate.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
branches.
i'm not loving the cold so much anymore.
i appreciate the cool, not so much the cold.
our bathroom has developed into a separate atmosphere. Because our house is so cold and we take such hot showers to compensate for being cold, water gathers on the ceiling and continues to drip through most of the day. Thus...we have rain in our bathroom....sort of. (maybe that's a bit of a stretch)
so i was excited that my dog's tumors were going to be removed, but unfortunately one of them was embedded so terribly that the doctors had to amputate her leg. :(
It's weird.
animals.
I love buffy.
and I am sad that her leg is gone....but i feel embarrarssed for being so sad...like I shouldn't care so much. why is that? maybe because some people see a love for animals as silly? I don't know.
I know she's not a person, but I'd like to think that she feels and thinks and loves, in a way...and to think that she's hurting is tragic to me.
I tried to tell a few people today about it and I just felt silly....like there are bigger things to be sad about...
like the Holocaust
I'm re-reading Night for my Judaism class and it makes me sick.
the ability of the human race to participate in such an awful thing is appalling.
Wiesel recounts in his memoir about a man named Moishe the Beadle who had escaped German persecution and no one would believe him. No one wanted to believe him. Wiesel writes, "Even I did not believe him. I often sat with him after services, and listened to his tales, trying to understand his grief. But all I felt was pity".
That's how I feel.
I hope and pray that i never truly understand becuase to understand would be to expericence....
all i can feel is pity, perhaps compassion, sympathy...but not empathy. Even with all of the stories, I can't begin to place myself in any person's shoes that was actually there. I can't begin to imagine. (this makes me think of my love and friendhip class...)
Wiesel even talks about this incommunicable factor...an "it" factor...he can't express how he feels with words because what he experienced was far beyond words...
on another note:
Halloween was fun.
and, my friends, it's still not over.
there was a rock show saturday night and everyone put on his or her best disguise for the occasion. Here are a few snapshots:
this is my favorite
i went as an electrician
scary spice and a flapper
ha..ha
fun stuff.
i visited Katie and Johnna on Sunday and held the new babies....:)
life abounds...which is also weird.
two of my best friends have babies.
good but strange.
i appreciate the cool, not so much the cold.
our bathroom has developed into a separate atmosphere. Because our house is so cold and we take such hot showers to compensate for being cold, water gathers on the ceiling and continues to drip through most of the day. Thus...we have rain in our bathroom....sort of. (maybe that's a bit of a stretch)
so i was excited that my dog's tumors were going to be removed, but unfortunately one of them was embedded so terribly that the doctors had to amputate her leg. :(
It's weird.
animals.
I love buffy.
and I am sad that her leg is gone....but i feel embarrarssed for being so sad...like I shouldn't care so much. why is that? maybe because some people see a love for animals as silly? I don't know.
I know she's not a person, but I'd like to think that she feels and thinks and loves, in a way...and to think that she's hurting is tragic to me.
I tried to tell a few people today about it and I just felt silly....like there are bigger things to be sad about...
like the Holocaust
I'm re-reading Night for my Judaism class and it makes me sick.
the ability of the human race to participate in such an awful thing is appalling.
Wiesel recounts in his memoir about a man named Moishe the Beadle who had escaped German persecution and no one would believe him. No one wanted to believe him. Wiesel writes, "Even I did not believe him. I often sat with him after services, and listened to his tales, trying to understand his grief. But all I felt was pity".
That's how I feel.
I hope and pray that i never truly understand becuase to understand would be to expericence....
all i can feel is pity, perhaps compassion, sympathy...but not empathy. Even with all of the stories, I can't begin to place myself in any person's shoes that was actually there. I can't begin to imagine. (this makes me think of my love and friendhip class...)
Wiesel even talks about this incommunicable factor...an "it" factor...he can't express how he feels with words because what he experienced was far beyond words...
on another note:
Halloween was fun.
and, my friends, it's still not over.
there was a rock show saturday night and everyone put on his or her best disguise for the occasion. Here are a few snapshots:
fun stuff.
i visited Katie and Johnna on Sunday and held the new babies....:)
life abounds...which is also weird.
two of my best friends have babies.
good but strange.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
it is officially cold, my friends.
and i am officially loving it.
i need to invest in some warmer clothes, though.
seems like there was so much i wanted to write about last night, but now i'm at a loss...
my dog, buffy, is getting her tumors removed...that's exciting. (reference barley post)
i think i'm recovering a bit from the rut of this semester...or maybe the rut of the past year. don't get me wrong, i'm still miserably behind, but i'm being resasonable about what i can accomplish on a daily basis and trying to make that happen. i think i failed my judaism test yesterday....and i mean it. sometimes i say that...with hope...this time it's for sure.
my vehicle has no heat.
(at this point i'm just typing random things to pass time before my next class...so if you don't have the time for such nonsense i reccomend that you stop reading...Now. seriously)
things that scare me:
sponges--nasty little things
wind chimes--i think i associate them with that old movie, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.
raw meat, esp. chicken--when i go to the grocery store i put those plastic bag things on my hands like gloves before even touching the packages...i'm not joking.
when someone pops his or her back-- don't know why.
talking to boys-- yep can't help it...scares me to death...i'm working on it, though..:)
leather jackets--?
dirty key boards-- like the one i'm typing on right now....ugh..greasy and yuck. think of all the germs...also scared of gas pumps for the same reason.
still obsessed with brandi carlile...i love the entire cd...no exceptions...and that doesn't happen very often.
i was thinking the other day that when i tell people that i love the counting crows they probably think i'm referring to their radio stuff--wrong--actually that's my least favorite of their music...the cd's are far better. if you haven't listened to some of their less mainstream stuff, you should.
i hate when i love songs but don't know who sings them.
like at work we play these mixes all the time, but i have no idea who sings them.
sometimes i can google them...sometimes there's a list in the back office but it doesn't clarify what is what....
work has played some good things here lately:
Tegan and Sara
the arcade fire
matt wertz
and some more stuff i can't remember right now.
(dang, there's one dude, what's his name?)
anyway..
this post has been completely pointless....pretty much.
oh!
so, i do believe that i am prone to live in houses with leaks.
all last year i lived in a room with a terrible leak in the closet.
the noise would keep me up at night....it molded...
i didn't have anywhere to store things.
the landlord never fixed the problem...they jut kept patching it up and then it would leak through again....
twice they told me it was fixed when they had only patched it and it leaked through on all my clothes....all my stuff....that was ALL last year.
anyway....told myself that at least this year we wouldn't have to deal with anything like that....i even told patty that the people that moved into our house were probably getting a little leak action during all of this rainy weather...and we laughed....
ha.
next day.
leak in the hallway...right outside my door....it's actually dripping off my door...crazy.
mabye our landlords will fix it this time...they seem more active than our last ones...who knows.
okay. time for class.
and i am officially loving it.
i need to invest in some warmer clothes, though.
seems like there was so much i wanted to write about last night, but now i'm at a loss...
my dog, buffy, is getting her tumors removed...that's exciting. (reference barley post)
i think i'm recovering a bit from the rut of this semester...or maybe the rut of the past year. don't get me wrong, i'm still miserably behind, but i'm being resasonable about what i can accomplish on a daily basis and trying to make that happen. i think i failed my judaism test yesterday....and i mean it. sometimes i say that...with hope...this time it's for sure.
my vehicle has no heat.
(at this point i'm just typing random things to pass time before my next class...so if you don't have the time for such nonsense i reccomend that you stop reading...Now. seriously)
things that scare me:
sponges--nasty little things
wind chimes--i think i associate them with that old movie, The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.
raw meat, esp. chicken--when i go to the grocery store i put those plastic bag things on my hands like gloves before even touching the packages...i'm not joking.
when someone pops his or her back-- don't know why.
talking to boys-- yep can't help it...scares me to death...i'm working on it, though..:)
leather jackets--?
dirty key boards-- like the one i'm typing on right now....ugh..greasy and yuck. think of all the germs...also scared of gas pumps for the same reason.
still obsessed with brandi carlile...i love the entire cd...no exceptions...and that doesn't happen very often.
i was thinking the other day that when i tell people that i love the counting crows they probably think i'm referring to their radio stuff--wrong--actually that's my least favorite of their music...the cd's are far better. if you haven't listened to some of their less mainstream stuff, you should.
i hate when i love songs but don't know who sings them.
like at work we play these mixes all the time, but i have no idea who sings them.
sometimes i can google them...sometimes there's a list in the back office but it doesn't clarify what is what....
work has played some good things here lately:
Tegan and Sara
the arcade fire
matt wertz
and some more stuff i can't remember right now.
(dang, there's one dude, what's his name?)
anyway..
this post has been completely pointless....pretty much.
oh!
so, i do believe that i am prone to live in houses with leaks.
all last year i lived in a room with a terrible leak in the closet.
the noise would keep me up at night....it molded...
i didn't have anywhere to store things.
the landlord never fixed the problem...they jut kept patching it up and then it would leak through again....
twice they told me it was fixed when they had only patched it and it leaked through on all my clothes....all my stuff....that was ALL last year.
anyway....told myself that at least this year we wouldn't have to deal with anything like that....i even told patty that the people that moved into our house were probably getting a little leak action during all of this rainy weather...and we laughed....
ha.
next day.
leak in the hallway...right outside my door....it's actually dripping off my door...crazy.
mabye our landlords will fix it this time...they seem more active than our last ones...who knows.
okay. time for class.
Monday, October 22, 2007
downpour
my sock is sinking
sinking
sinking
into the depths of my shoe.
ahg.
that is not pleasant.
must write an essay in less than two hours....
go!
sinking
sinking
into the depths of my shoe.
ahg.
that is not pleasant.
must write an essay in less than two hours....
go!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
week at a glance...literally.
words of interest this week:
muss: a mess; disorder. erin used this word tonight in reference to my hair.
egalitarian: advocating full political, social, and economic equality for all people. (i thought that's what it meant....a conversation over the weekend made me second guess myself... I would think that egalitarianism would be a positive thing...some seem to think otherwise...perhaps? interesting.)
mood for the day: nostalgic: when one longs for something far away or long ago; theme of this post.
I have lots to write about so i'm giving topics separate sub-headings! fun.
My Best Friend's Baby
my best friend had her baby boy last thursday, october 18th.
i was in the hopital room watching her withstand the pain of life...literally the pull of a life from inside her. I don't know if I want to have kids....ek. Scary.
We grew up together...we lived together for two years. This child, still unnamed, will change her life forever. She'll never be without its presence whether physical or only in her thoughts...forever. It makes us different...in a way.
I can't begin to understand what it feels like to bear the weight of someone else's life in my hands...in my heart...in my belly. :)
it is beautiful and weird.... i love this baby because i love her. I don't know who he'll become or what he'll be like but it's a piece of her. It's so weird to actually think about life. God gave humans the ability to reproduce...wow. crazy. oh well. Here are some pictures from the event:
anyway.
he's precious.
okay, then.
muss: a mess; disorder. erin used this word tonight in reference to my hair.
egalitarian: advocating full political, social, and economic equality for all people. (i thought that's what it meant....a conversation over the weekend made me second guess myself... I would think that egalitarianism would be a positive thing...some seem to think otherwise...perhaps? interesting.)
mood for the day: nostalgic: when one longs for something far away or long ago; theme of this post.
I have lots to write about so i'm giving topics separate sub-headings! fun.
My Best Friend's Baby
my best friend had her baby boy last thursday, october 18th.
i was in the hopital room watching her withstand the pain of life...literally the pull of a life from inside her. I don't know if I want to have kids....ek. Scary.
We grew up together...we lived together for two years. This child, still unnamed, will change her life forever. She'll never be without its presence whether physical or only in her thoughts...forever. It makes us different...in a way.
I can't begin to understand what it feels like to bear the weight of someone else's life in my hands...in my heart...in my belly. :)
it is beautiful and weird.... i love this baby because i love her. I don't know who he'll become or what he'll be like but it's a piece of her. It's so weird to actually think about life. God gave humans the ability to reproduce...wow. crazy. oh well. Here are some pictures from the event:
anyway.
he's precious.
okay, then.
fall
i'm obsessed with fall and here lately i can't keep my eyes off the lovely orange tree in our neighbor's yard. i think i'm lusting after it a bit...just kidding. maybe not.
the weather was warm again today and i've been telling people that i feel ripped off...and i want a refund..in full! It's not supposed to be warm in october!
(it's amazing how retail affects every part of my life...even my metaphors...)
"i spend all day hiding my heart away" brandi carlile....i love this woman...she speaks to my soul. PERFECT fall music. her words say the things my mind never lets me articulate... i love it.
she seems to have trouble with mornings, not unlike myself.
dread instead of hope...weight instead of relief...hm.
sidenote: there's a hidden track on her new cd....good stuff.
Why can't I cling to the promise: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning..."?
-Lamentations, 3:23.
i feel like i can't shake these burdens....they hold on so tightly.
i seek mercy, renewal, refreshment, relief, a deep breath. I feel like every morning i pick up where i left off....hopelessly behind.
ahh.
moving along.
last topic, i promise
dance duo, roommate syle
today me and ernie danced like fools and i loved it.
i love blurry motion shots...they're so full of life.
fool/full...:)
then we decided to take pictures of ourselves in the mirror. vain yes. did that stop us...no.
today has been fun...and exhausting.
time for bed.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
gun up.
i am a student.
i am a student at western kentucky university.
i am a student at western kentucky university and must do my homework.
i am a student at western kentucky university and must do my homework or i will fail.
i am a student=i will fail.
maybe not.
ha. bet you didn't see that coming.
i think everyone is in a rut.
i see it in the familiar faces around me. The pull of life...the struggle for survival amidst reality.
the labbie must be looking over my shoulder at my computer....because they just sent me a message telling me to get off because other people are in line....that's not cool.
so, there you go.
i am a student at western kentucky university.
i am a student at western kentucky university and must do my homework.
i am a student at western kentucky university and must do my homework or i will fail.
i am a student=i will fail.
maybe not.
ha. bet you didn't see that coming.
i think everyone is in a rut.
i see it in the familiar faces around me. The pull of life...the struggle for survival amidst reality.
the labbie must be looking over my shoulder at my computer....because they just sent me a message telling me to get off because other people are in line....that's not cool.
so, there you go.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
snot
my teeth feel insanely weird. hmmm?
word for the day: struggle.
struggle to breathe
struggle to think
struggle to focus
struggle to forgive
struggle to be happy
struggle to maintain sanity
struggle to love.
i work in the mall. i've seen too many shoppers in my day...too many. I was thinking about america and our current season of excess and about how my job contributes to that excess and how miserable that is.
You know that play? As Bees in Honey Drown....well yesterday, at work, all I could think about was: As Customers in Clearance Drown! I've said before and I'll say it again: The human race loses all morals at the sight of sales rack...it's amazing really.
anyway.
no more thoughts....i'm too tired.
word for the day: struggle.
struggle to breathe
struggle to think
struggle to focus
struggle to forgive
struggle to be happy
struggle to maintain sanity
struggle to love.
i work in the mall. i've seen too many shoppers in my day...too many. I was thinking about america and our current season of excess and about how my job contributes to that excess and how miserable that is.
You know that play? As Bees in Honey Drown....well yesterday, at work, all I could think about was: As Customers in Clearance Drown! I've said before and I'll say it again: The human race loses all morals at the sight of sales rack...it's amazing really.
anyway.
no more thoughts....i'm too tired.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
eh.
my nose is a fountatin...no maybe a gusher. I can't even feel it. It's weird. And one of my eyes is all watery...i promise I'm not crying.
my computer completely crashed tonight. Thus Mass Media...is my friend.
there was no warning. I mean I've known for awhile that my spyware needed to be updated...but usually there's some indication that it's on the downhill slope....but NO.
no warning signs.
no slowing down...no weird messages until the dreadful moment. I'm talking complete wipe out in a matter of three minutes or less, maybe. amazing. tragic. I really hope I didn't lose everything on my hard drive. oooh. that thought hurts.
I don't usually work well in labs. I'm easily distracted.
sidenote: the time on this website is two hours slow.
I don't really know where I'm at in life right now. I'm not being very successful as a student....really, I'm not.
Today has been cold. I was begging for cooler weather and now I have that plus a cold (ha ha) and I'm complaining once again. Honestly, the only time today when I was truly warm was in the shower...and when I dried my hair. I just let the hair dryer run for awhile....ahh. then i was cold again.
actually, not cold now, because i'm in the computer lab, but that doesn't count because I don't really want to be here. I want to go home and be warm....not possible.
gosh. why am I typing again?
miserable rantings.
my computer completely crashed tonight. Thus Mass Media...is my friend.
there was no warning. I mean I've known for awhile that my spyware needed to be updated...but usually there's some indication that it's on the downhill slope....but NO.
no warning signs.
no slowing down...no weird messages until the dreadful moment. I'm talking complete wipe out in a matter of three minutes or less, maybe. amazing. tragic. I really hope I didn't lose everything on my hard drive. oooh. that thought hurts.
I don't usually work well in labs. I'm easily distracted.
sidenote: the time on this website is two hours slow.
I don't really know where I'm at in life right now. I'm not being very successful as a student....really, I'm not.
Today has been cold. I was begging for cooler weather and now I have that plus a cold (ha ha) and I'm complaining once again. Honestly, the only time today when I was truly warm was in the shower...and when I dried my hair. I just let the hair dryer run for awhile....ahh. then i was cold again.
actually, not cold now, because i'm in the computer lab, but that doesn't count because I don't really want to be here. I want to go home and be warm....not possible.
gosh. why am I typing again?
miserable rantings.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
tsk, tsk.
yes, I'm posting twice in the same day. shameful, i know. get over it.
Bowling Green Sisters' Grimm
Once upon a time there were four ladies who lived in the west wing of a golden castle:
bo bo
pookie
ernie
and... laddie
They enjoyed the company of stray cats and loved to drink milk. It was custom in the house to break out crazy dance moves, sing silly songs, or color crazy pictures.
There was never a dull moment. Life was good.
And yes, they all wore African baskets on their heads.
Bowling Green Sisters' Grimm
Once upon a time there were four ladies who lived in the west wing of a golden castle:
They enjoyed the company of stray cats and loved to drink milk. It was custom in the house to break out crazy dance moves, sing silly songs, or color crazy pictures.
There was never a dull moment. Life was good.
these days are numbered...or something like that.
....have an appointment with the department head today aka my shakespeare and film professor. I have to break the news to her that I have yet to finish, much less begin, the paper that was due two days ago. Irresponsibility is queen! I don't think she accepts late assignments. I sense impending doom.
I have lost all motivation to succeed as a student. I even randomly came across this book in the library the other day that discussed the dropout dilemma of college students. Granted the book was from the 1960's so the information was a little off kilter, but it was still insightful. Some authors believe that a break from college is sometimes the best thing that a student can do....it allows some time to refocus. Not that I'm a actually considering taking a break....but I will confess that the thought has crossed my mind several times. I don't know.....things seem so out of sorts. I seem so out of sorts. I really don't know what to make of it. What to do...what to do....ahhh.
oh well.
I have lost all motivation to succeed as a student. I even randomly came across this book in the library the other day that discussed the dropout dilemma of college students. Granted the book was from the 1960's so the information was a little off kilter, but it was still insightful. Some authors believe that a break from college is sometimes the best thing that a student can do....it allows some time to refocus. Not that I'm a actually considering taking a break....but I will confess that the thought has crossed my mind several times. I don't know.....things seem so out of sorts. I seem so out of sorts. I really don't know what to make of it. What to do...what to do....ahhh.
oh well.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
barley.
I had some old rolls of film developed. Here's a little of what i found:
I had forgot about that trip to the park. By the way, this is Buffy. She has a tumor on her chest that can't be removed....so I say she has breast cancer...not to be funny...well maybe to make light of an unfortunate problem...but you know what I mean.
I want to buy a book. It's about two kids that get lost in a museum. I read it a long time ago, but can't remember the name.
fall is finally edging closer, but I'm currently angry with the weather. I'm tired of summer....please, please leave! I want fall to come and stay awhile.
I also want some apple cider. yum.
Saturday, on my way back to bg I stopped at the farmer's market and bought another pumpkin and two mums. So, yesterday i watered them. The lady at the market told me not to pour the water directly on top because it would hurt the blooms...so I lifted up the side of this big plant to pour the water directly into the soil.
At this point all is well.
i noticed that the extra water had started to run under one of the pumpkins...so I knelt down to pick it up and as I reached for it I saw, to my horror, that a giant brown/black fuzzy worm had attatched itself to my arm.....aghhhh! I threw the pumpkin down....started screaming and tried to knock it off.
Finally the rascal let go.
I was traumatized.
I hope a neighbor was lucky enough to witness this little performance.
I hate bugs, worms...all crawly things.
so today...i haven't watered the mums yet...don't know if I will.
I had forgot about that trip to the park. By the way, this is Buffy. She has a tumor on her chest that can't be removed....so I say she has breast cancer...not to be funny...well maybe to make light of an unfortunate problem...but you know what I mean.
I want to buy a book. It's about two kids that get lost in a museum. I read it a long time ago, but can't remember the name.
fall is finally edging closer, but I'm currently angry with the weather. I'm tired of summer....please, please leave! I want fall to come and stay awhile.
I also want some apple cider. yum.
Saturday, on my way back to bg I stopped at the farmer's market and bought another pumpkin and two mums. So, yesterday i watered them. The lady at the market told me not to pour the water directly on top because it would hurt the blooms...so I lifted up the side of this big plant to pour the water directly into the soil.
At this point all is well.
i noticed that the extra water had started to run under one of the pumpkins...so I knelt down to pick it up and as I reached for it I saw, to my horror, that a giant brown/black fuzzy worm had attatched itself to my arm.....aghhhh! I threw the pumpkin down....started screaming and tried to knock it off.
Finally the rascal let go.
I was traumatized.
I hope a neighbor was lucky enough to witness this little performance.
I hate bugs, worms...all crawly things.
so today...i haven't watered the mums yet...don't know if I will.
Friday, October 5, 2007
eggshells
Things I've accomplished today:
breakfast
tv
shower
out to lunch
watched the rest of as you like it
baked a batch of brownies because the case of eggs fell out of the fridge and I didn't want to throw them all away.
dishes
blog
and it's already....3:49!
(granted I didn't roll out of bed unitl ten...:( I hate when I get up late)
ridiculous. I am ridiculous.
Things I'm supposed to accomplish over fall break:
finish a book
write two papers
catch up on all my late Greek assignments
clean my room
read Othello
write two journal entries
catch up on bible study
buy bread
do laundry
I go to work at six.
needless to say, I'm falling miserably behind.
breakfast
tv
shower
out to lunch
watched the rest of as you like it
baked a batch of brownies because the case of eggs fell out of the fridge and I didn't want to throw them all away.
dishes
blog
and it's already....3:49!
(granted I didn't roll out of bed unitl ten...:( I hate when I get up late)
ridiculous. I am ridiculous.
Things I'm supposed to accomplish over fall break:
finish a book
write two papers
catch up on all my late Greek assignments
clean my room
read Othello
write two journal entries
catch up on bible study
buy bread
do laundry
I go to work at six.
needless to say, I'm falling miserably behind.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
well, hello
clementine:
needy
meows all the time
has no tail
attention whore
If people were like cats, we would have lots of company. Tonight, Tuffy from across the street paid us a lovely visit.
Tuffy:
fluffy
quiet
curious
bites
not a stray
proud
I do believe I am a crazy cat lady.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
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